Trump Buys MySpace Network To Compete With Facebook


As many conservatives, Trump-supporters, and true patriots have discovered, Facebook has a few problems with their attitudes and commenting.  “Freedom of speech” doesn’t seem to apply when Joe Kentucky wants to explain how Democrats have embraced the socialist communist America-haters and put us all in danger.  How many have languished for months in “Facebook jail?”


Well, former President Trump believes in what his followers and all good patriots want to say and hear, and to combat the censorship of Facebook and Twitter, has outright purchased the network and hardware previously used by bygone social network “MySpace” in order to build a whole new and tremendous go-to home on the internet for the rest of us.  According to administrator Sandy Batt, the new network will be called : “TrumpCock.”

The logo for the future social media juggernaut will feature the prominent scam artist’s face superimposed over an image of his actual cock, airbrushed slightly to remove traces of Mike Pence’s face in the background.  It will be free for use, just like Facebook, with a slight stipulation that all members must release their personal bank-account and social security information to network representitives just in case of emergencies, for identity verification, and to help pay legal bills for any impending divorces or legal bills associated with lawsuits filed by the state of New York against Mr. Trump.

Several members of Trump’s White House administration will be involved in the venture, including first son Donald Trump Junior, who has already created the slogan : “No blacks, browns, or fat chicks!”  All uploaded photos of female members will also be automatically assigned number “grades” as a security feature.

“Eh. I’ll give her a 5. A three for the left and a 2 for the right side. My Presidential Visa card fell short that one day. I blame Obama.”

While TrumpCock has not yet given a concrete start date for it’s debut, experts project a buoyant start, followed by a rapid decline until it’s inevitable bankruptcy within a year like most of Trump’s previous businesses.  So get on quick!  It’ll be fun while it lasts.

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