Biden Names Contractor To Remove Border Wall


President-elect Joe Biden isn’t wasting any time with his transition and public works teams.  Just weeks out from his historic and overwhelming victory over Donald Trump, America’s new commander-in-chief has already begun assembling his cabinet, proposing legislation, and assembling the groups to carry out his first one hundred day goals.

Um…i can mop. Or vacuum. Whatever. I’ll work for weed.

One of those goals is to reduce the unnecessary spending that ran rampant during Trump’s cartoonish failure of a term, starting with his border wall project.  President Biden will immediately defund the pointless project, and promises to demolish the “blight of a barrier” on our southern border.

Joe Barron of Barron Construction and Chia Pet Care revealed to the Queefington Gust Daily yesterday that he and his crews have already been contacted for the demolition job by members of the Biden transition team, and proffered a juicy security deposit of six million dollars in advance, straight from your holy, precious, sweet tax dollars.

But without a giant wall, how will we keep illegal aliens out of our, and God’s, country, you might be asking.   Biden’s Secretary of Destroying Every Trace of Trump, Clete Torris, detailed some plans.

“Well, since we have a border patrol, who do an excellent job, mind you, after President Obama increased their ranks by a third, and we’re coming off a massive economic catastrophe that was ultimately caused by ridiculously incompetent leadership, we thought it would help to increase that crew again, if needed.  Put Americans to work.  We’d also reestablish the monitoring of businesses who employ the undocumented and fine them.  Something that yet another joke of a Republican, Reagan, dropped the ball on.  That would open up more jobs.  No more deaths, cages, or walls.  We’re going with brains.”

“Well, I’ve got it out. Does anyone want to poke it or anything? It’s kinda fun. Squishy.”

Biden is also planning to use materials from the disassembled wall to help repair crumbling infrastructure and help building projects to provide low-cost homes and repair damage from natural disasters.  It sounds like Joe Biden is giving the US something It’s sorely needed for the last four years – sensible leadership.

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