ABC Cancels ‘The View’ After Goldberg Calls Trump ‘Satan’s Dog’

FINALLY!

It was one of the highest-rated daytime shows in television, boasting an all-woman panel of commenters, at times, rotating chairs to speak from all avenues of life.

Although it featured several hosts commonly referred to as conservative, such as Senatorial daughter Meghan McCain, complaints had always poured in regarding its often liberal slant.

All of that ends next week as ABC has announced The View’s cancellation.

Scheduled guests “Diamond and Silk” were given five dollars each and told to take an Uber to somewhere else they could annoy anyone with ears.

In a story gone viral with a video clip watched thousands of times, ABC admitted that host Whoopi Goldberg contributed to the axing after she went on a rant, calling impeached President Trump: “Satan’s dog.”  But she offers absolutely no apology and won’t stop there, says ABC Director of Yappy Broads, Sanders Batt :

“Whoopi believes that most real Americans agree with her that Trump is a barely literate incompetent dick wart, and the ratings have usually proved that assumption.  She doesn’t intend to apologize, and instead, has purchased outright, all rights concerned with the program, including the name.

“The American Broadcasting Company has purchased the new show, and will begin airing it directly after the old one has concluded it’s final episode.  We have also re-hired the exact same host and staff, so even as we say goodbye to Whoopi, Joy, and whoever those other ones are, we welcome Whoopi, Joy, and a couple others to our family.  One of them is black.

“The New program’s first episode will feature the theme : ‘How Much of a Dumber Hitler is Trump?’  It should be great.  Welcome to the New View, America!”

I am willing to buy everyone in the audience a car if Whoopi will make me Star Trek space drinks. And she has to wear that hat. That purple gay space-pope hat.

Although the network has let the entire staff go and then hired them all back, employees have confirmed that intern Jon Guluv will not be returning, as he has been hired by rival station Fox to personally treat Tucker Carlson’s hideous penis leprosy.

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