Hanes Overwhelmed With Orders for Biden T-Shirts


After the third debate between President Donald Trump and his challenging candidate Joe Biden, America’s foremost producer of  casual clothing has received over a million requests in one day for T-shirts of varied styles and slogans featuring the Democratic frontrunner and winner of the face off.

The company’s online order page actually crashed for nearly two hours in the late evening due to the traffic.

Softcore pornographer Mr. Skin has already upgraded his own site for a possible public meltdown from the first lady.

Manufacturing supervisor Joe Barron described the sudden demand and confirmed that their partner divisions producing baseball-style caps and full-sized blankets.

Are that many Americans really in the desperate market for clothing and bedding with the face of Joe Biden emblazoned on it?

“Absolutely.  Last night’s debate was such a clear and obvious win for Joe that it’s become a celebratory event.  It’s more than just a show of pride that the Democratic candidate is so far better qualified for the Presidency – it’s also a display of sheer relief in the certainty that Donald Trump will soon be out of office and likely bent over a bunk in a federal penitentiary, possibly by El Chapo.

The most popular designs are the ‘Oh Come On’, logo, the captions : ‘Shut Up, Stupid’, and ‘Russia’s Bitch’ products, and of course, the items featuring Biden defending America against Trump, who is portrayed as a giant fat dragon covered in Coronoirus.

We’ve processed nearly a million orders so far and they aren’t slowing down.  Guess I’m pre-ordering a PlayStation 5 after all.”

The upcoming release from Japan : “Evil Ball Armageddon” is wowing the critics.

The post-debate surge for Biden has spilled over to other companies as well, including the Franklin Mint, who has begun production of a Trump-As-Retarded-Abraham-Lincoln collector’s plate, and toy-producers Hasbro, whose “Biden Bears” are now in high-demand at major outlets.

It certainly seems that the drubbing Mr. Biden dished out in the final debate has raised his popularity even higher among Americans that are able to think clearly and don’t hunt squirrels for lunchmeat.

That sound you’re hearing is a lot of red hats being unceremoniously tossed into wood-chippers.

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