Trump Appoints Winston Wolfe as Special Counsel to Clean Up Election

President Trump has some problems. The election results are a bloody mess and the courts are working against him.  Joe Biden is slithering his way closer and closer to the White House and several Republicans in Congress are turning coat. Today, President Trump decided to solve these problems.

Today, President Trump called “The Wolf”.

Winston Wolf is an expert problem solver. His calm and cool demeanor is as legendary as his signature three-piece suit and bow tie. Give the man a cup of coffee with lots of cream and sugar, and he’ll have all your problems tucked away in a scrapyard in San Fernando Valley before Bonnie gets home. 

Time being a factor in his business, Winston Wolfe often appears curt. He thinks fast and he talks fast, and with Inauguration Day soon upon us, he and his team will need to act fast.

Wolfe will be taking over for Trump’s embattled personal attorney Rudy Giuliani. The former New York Mayor has made a mockery of the appeals process with his unsubstantiated claims and unfortunate choice of star witness in Melissa Carone.

When Trump first announced the change to his staff, Giuliani was unaware that it was Wolfe who was being sent in. In a phone call soon after, Trump told Giuliani that he was sending “The Wolf”, and staffers overheard him say, “You sending The Wolf?  Shit, Donnie. That’s all you had to say.”

After an initial assessment of the situation, Wolfe called a meeting with Trump, Giuliani, and Carone in the Oval Office. As Giuliani’s hair dye began to run down the side of his face, Wolfe asked Trump what his former counsel and star witness looked like to him.

The President said, “Dorks. They look like dorks.”

While Wolfe is not known to play favorites when it comes to his high-profile clients, he does hold a warm spot in his heart for Trump. Along with the Clinton Foundation and the Marsellus Wallace crime family, Trump has provided Wolfe with the vast majority of his business over the last 25 years.

With Wolfe on this job, this election mess should be cleaned up soon and we can all look forward to seeing “The Wolf” at Trump’s inauguration with his date, SNL alum Julia Sweeney.

About Benjamin Thompson 105 Articles
Recruited to ALLOD as a POE before I even knew what a POE was. Right handed, avid golfer and cook. I play 5 musical instruments proficiently and work often as an audio engineer in both recording studios and live music venues throughout the SF Bay Area. I do some of my best work when I'm slightly drunk. Never smoked a cigarette in my life. Cheers!!

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