Starbucks’ Controversial ‘Holiday’ Cups Feature Biden and Harris

Bring Back Baby Jesus!

Starbucks is famous for serving its coffee every holiday season in a special holiday-themed coffee cup. And this year, they’ve proven what godless Demonrats they are with their decision to put Joe Biden and Kamala Harris on their 2020 holiday cups.

The company was waiting to announce its Biden/Harris coffee cup until after Trump had conceded the election to his vanquishing opponents, but he’s a butthurt, whiny little bitch and we’re all still waiting for that concession.

So, the cups have been released to great fanfare.

Portraying Joe Biden and Kamala Harris as the upbeat, smiling, decent human beings that they are, the cups are sure to inspire envy and hatred among the Trumpflake set that refuses to admit that their orange lord and savior got his ass beat in the election.

Sandy Batt, Starbucks Chief Holiday Coffee Cup Czar, said of this season’s cup: “We field tested a cup with Trump on it, and all that happened was a bunch of losers in beat up pickups festooned with Trump flags screamed at us about abortions, socialism, communism, and Venezuela.

Those people are just…confused. So we tested a Joe-and-Kamala cup instead. We still had people screaming at us about those things, but we also had many more people thanking us for putting the winners on our cups.”

The cups have been rolled out in cities that gave the Biden/Harris ticket huge winning margins and will be in use in all blue states by December 1. In a first for Starbucks, though, they’re not even bothering to introduce the cups in any red states.

Ms. Batt continued, “People in red states say all the time that they won’t buy our coffee, but we sell just as much coffee in those states as we do in the blue states. The last time we had a liberal on a cup, red-staters lost their minds and said they would boycott. All that happened is they went to the drive-through with sunglasses on. Just like voting, it’s easy to disguise yourself.”

The Joe/Kamala cups will be in stores through January 20, 2021 — a real day to celebrate.

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