George Soros has angered patriots and real Americans nationwide with an announcement that after the election, he will personally spend billions of dollars to “re-program” Americans. This is a travesty!
First, he’s making the assumption that our dear leader, President Donald J. Trump, is going to lose the election — which is absolutely NOT going to happen! The Silent Majority will make sure of that.
Second, what is this “re-programming” he’s planning? It’s actually a very benevolent public service.
He’s going to hire thousands of cult de-programmers to shake loose as many Trump cult followers as possible. Because boy howdy, Cult 45 members are indoctrinated, brainwashed, and 100% lock-step bootlicking cult members. But with the care and guidance of professionals, they’ll be able to see the light, step back from the abyss, and become coherent, thinking citizens again (if they ever were).
Our intrepid reporter, Sandy Batt, was able to get her hands on a top-secret “Cult 45 Deprogrammer Handbook” from an anonymous source at the Soros Center for Socialist World Domination. The de-Trumpification steps are easy to follow.
- Hold your dominant hand up to approximately eye level.
- Make a fist.
- Punch yourself in the goddamn face.
- Repeat 100 times, while chanting “Trump is NOT my lord and savior. Trump is NOT my lord and savior. Trump is NOT my lord and savior.”
- After punching yourself in the face 100 times and repeating that Trump is not your lord and savior 100 times, think about how wrong you have been for supporting racism, hatred, division, misogyny, bigotry, and downright f*cking stupidity for the last four years.
- If you still think of him as your lord and savior, repeat steps 3 & 4 until you come to your f*cking senses.
If that still doesn’t work, go live in a red state hellhole with the rest of your un-American Trumphumping brainwashed cohorts until you die. Good riddance.