The day many conservatives and patriots thought would never come is finally here. In a surprise announcement made from the San Francisco City Hall this morning, authorities for the office of the Speaker gave the news that Nancy Pelosi has stepped down from her position.
Details of the shockingly abrupt dereliction came in slowly throughout the afternoon as reporters and journalists jockeyed for space among the throng of media outside the Queef Street building near Pacific Heights. After a chaotic attempt at calming the crowd and conducting the machinations of the ice cream transportation vehicles, the Speaker’s press secretary Sandy Batt took center stage to explain.
“Nancy Pelosi has decided to step down from her position as Speaker of the House. I have been authorized to report that Mrs. Pelosi will be taking over a new post under the attorney General, in which, she will be completely in charge of all legal operations in the country aimed at completely ruining the life of Donald Trump for whatever time he has left before fatty acids and bowel rot sets in. The new position is being labeled : ‘Grand Mistress of Crushing Trumpballs’, and is effective immediately. I have handed out details, illustrations, and commemorative pens. Thank you.”
At this time, since the announcement was so rapid, it’s not yet known who will take over the Speaker’s position. Hillary Clinton has expressed interest since trumptards hate her with equal idiocy and dumber reasons than Pelosi. Democratic operatives have not yet revealed specific details.
The jarring spectacle has shaken up the Democratic party, but most experts agree that they’ll manage to get over it and move on, unlike the GOP which, thanks to the massive and embarrassing failure of Donald Trump, will be a loss for at least two decades.
Sometimes an abject loser and incompetent leader can be the worst President in all of American history – and still do one thing right. Take all the morons down with him.