Jill Biden To Be First Lady AND Surgeon General


Soon-to-be First Lady Jill Biden has remarkable accomplishments.  A heavily-lauded educational professional with masters degrees in Education, a professorship, and three books under her authorship belt, including one encouraging children to love and respect our troops, she is about as truly patriotic and American centered as one could get.

One of Mrs. Biden’s books – in contrast, Mrs. Trump is halfway through writing her novel, “Black Boy Named Mickey No Eat of Borscht Is Bad And Prison Die.”

But her tireless devotion to her country and it’s citizens isn’t about to end there.  According to insiders close to the Biden transition team, the President-elect has chosen his wife to fill the spot of Surgeon General, the top doc supreme, even though her degrees are nearly all in the fields of English and grammar.

Sandy Batt of Good Morning Queeftown, a Delaware public-access news program, asked the first natural-born First Lady in four years about what she hopes to accomplish in her dual role, and why many believe she will outshine her predecessor Melanie something who babbled illegible sentences once every year and then hid in a closet somewhere on sedatives for the other 364 days.

“I think it’s important, and call me crazy here, but I think it’s a key intelligent move to have someone with some sense of urgency and realistic planning in the office of Surgeon General during a worldwide pandemic.  Can anyone name Trump’s current S.G.?  Jerome Adams.  I bet maybe three people knew that.  He’s been on the news like three times in four years.  What’s he doing?  Has he even met with Fauci?  Is he helping with the vaccine?  Nobody knows.  The incompetence of Trump’s entire administration is almost cartoonish.  His fat ass needs to leave.  Now.”

“Hey before we get kicked out, can I just check the ceiling tiles in the bathroom one more time? I know I have an 8-ball left somewhere.”

In addition to helping to formulate a “plan” to actually “confront” the crisis, Mrs. Biden will also be reinvigorating the office of First Lady by starting new initiatives for Education, a foreign and mysterious word for Trump’s parade of throwback supporters.  It sounds like America is definitely trading in a damaged Slovenian Pinto for a brand new Mercedes.

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