Secret Service Roughs Up Papparazzi That Photographed Biden ‘In A Haze’

A plain-clothed Secret Service agent was caught red-handed beating the crap out of a paparazzi photographer, and now they’re denying it ever happened.

According to recorded video and photographical and possibly even auditory evidence, a man was removed from a Biden event, had his camera smashed and then confiscated, and was then beaten badly enough to warrant thirteen stitches and a flu shot, which he refused.

The agent, according to the Secret Service, doesn’t exist. The incident, according to the White House, never happened. Biden, according to the libs, is in wonderful shape and doesn’t need you boomers calling him senile.

So…what’s the truth? You tell us, patriots.

There it is, plain as day. It happened, and they can’t stop us from saying so. It’s…kind of a 1st Amendment thing.

Anyway, patriots, In today’s day and age these rotten agents should know that the internet is written in ink and that even if you look just like Alec Baldwin, eventually someone will find you and make sure you pay for this.

As of today, patriots, we’re adding the paparazzi to our list of protected people. They obviously have our best interests in mind. So if you see a guy with a camera hanging from a pole outside some public venue, don’t call the police. Toss him a smile and some snacks.

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 408 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.