Anonymous Source – ‘Donald & Melania Were Never Married’

WHAT???

A lot of attention was recently given to a report in the Atlantic magazine dealing with President Trump referring to our military men and women as “losers.”  The scoop was at first downplayed by sympathizers and hordes of Trump’s cult members until the accusations were confirmed by several news agencies.

One confirmation came from world famous journalist Barkler Cronkite.

After that came allegations in an interview by accredited journalist Bob Woodward, that the President knew full well the dangers of the Coronavirus long ago, and purposefully covered up important and possibly life-saving information from the public.  This interview was backed up by audio evidence, yet hilariously, called “fake news” by groups of brain-addled mutants who, frankly, are just too stupid to know any better.

Next is a report by more sources, requesting to remain anonymous, related to Joe Barron of the Weekly Queefburg Gazette, that Donald Trump and his, until now presumed wife, Melania, are not now, and never have been, officially married in any church or government institution.  Barron contends that his marriage, along with nearly everything else about the President, is a phony scam.

“According to my sources, one of whom may or may not have a name that rhymes with ‘Parrod Glushner’, the couple never officially tied the knot because Mr. Trump considers his money far more important than people, and didn’t want to put it in jeapordy for an inevitable divorce.  It’s also why Melania wasn’t very upset about the whole Stormy Weathers affair.  She can’t get anything out of it.  And frankly, date a scumbag for the credit cards, you get what you get.  There is no marriage license, no records, nothing.  Not even a birth certificate for Barron.  It’s a big secret.  Well, it was.”

Also revealed – Keith Richards passed away 6 years ago. This is just a really really smart bacteria colony. And it’s high.

So far, no Trump administration official has commented on the shocking news, and nothing but silence has come from the President’s friends and family.  It’s another explosive scandal, just in time for the election.

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