In-the-know patriots are aware that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama will be going to jail any day now because they murdered people in Benghazi. Four people are dead because of them!
And while those same in-the-know patriots definitely couldn’t tell you which country Benghazi is even in, they are 100 percent sure that Hillary Clinton was there and personally led to the deaths of four Americans.
And they hate Barack Obama for anything and everything, so he belongs in jail too. Neener neener.
So Nancy Pelosi is coming to their rescue and demanding that one-term impeached President Donald Trump issue a presidential pardon for both Clinton and Obama.
“Trump can try to salvage his reputation as a partisan hack by issuing a pardon to Clinton and Obama. No, they’re not actually guilty of anything, but Trump is an idiot so it doesn’t even matter.
He can just do it. I feel like bossing him around for a bit longer before he slithers off to Mar-a-Lago on January 20.”
Trump immediately responded with an emphatic refusal to issue the pardon.
“Obama and Clinton are guilty of everything. Absolutely everything. He’s from Kenya. It’s the truth. She’s a murderer and she can’t keep her loser husband satisfied. Horrible woman. Deserves to be in jail. For something.
People tell me all the time about why she should be in prison. So no, they can’t have their pardon. Pelosi is crazy. Crazy woman. No.”
Sandy Batt, a spokeswoman for Speaker Pelosi, said Pelosi would keep up the pressure for Trump to do pardon Obama and Clinton for crimes they didn’t commit.
Why would she do such a bizarre thing? She figures it’s the only way to distract Trump’s rabid base from their brainless conspiracy theories about Benghazi. Or maybe she’s trying to distract Trump from doing any more damage to the country prior to his return to his tacky golden palace in Florida. Smart woman, that Pelosi.