Pelosi Signs Record $7 Million Book Deal

WOW.

It was the great scientist and futurist Igon Spengler who once opined that “Print is dead,” meaning that modern distractions and forms of entertainment had, and will continue to push down the popularity of the written word.

Well, that’s been somewhat disproven by the resurgence of book sales driven by authors like Stephen King and George R.R. Martin and, most recently, the genre of political tell-all releases.

First Lady Melania Trump is reportedly working on her own volume entitled: “Potter Harry Magic Boy and Borscht of Bestness.” It will be in six languages all at the same time.

It also seems like the Presidency of Donald Trump has driven eyes to the bookstores thanks to damning tales of his gross incompetence and obvious ignorance by award-winning journalist Bob Woodward and the leader’s own niece.

Next up on that best-seller list is apparently Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, who has been given a record-breaking seven million dollar advance by Joe Barron Publishing for her book on the subject, tentatively titled: “Dealing With America’s Biggest Moron.”

Pelosi calls the tome: “A record for all time of the inside story of exactly how unsuited for office America’s worst President actually is.”

Barnes and Noble Booksellers as well as Amazon and dozens of other media outlets have already requested bulk deliveries and several have even opened specific sections of their businesses specifically for “Trump Is an Idiot” books.

Target Stores will simply label their selection area: “The Mistake.”

The Speaker had remarked that all of the proceeds of the book will be generously donated to a Wells Fargo fund in her name, popularly known as a “Savings Account”, which will allow her to purchase expensive teabagger-triggering ice cream and super awesome sports cars.

She already owns three Audis, each able to transform into Autobots with laser-guided missile systems and flight capability.

NOTHING WILL CONQUER THE SUPERIOR ENGINEERING OF THE REICH! HEIL!

The book is predicted to dominate news cycles throughout the next year as the country issues a collective sigh under the leadership of Joe Biden.

Maybe if you’re really nice at a signing event, Nancy will let you have a taste of her Fudge Rocky Road with Flecks of Gold.

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