Buffalo Bills Refuse to Play Until ‘Police Held Accountable’

UNBELIEVABLE!

After the NBA staged a number of mass protests effectively hobbling the basketball season, it seems that the NFL is following suit.  Buffalo Bills players, led by their quarterback Josh Allen, made an announcement this last weekend that they would be sitting out their upcoming game, as well as any others to follow until such time that action is taken to reform: “out of control mistreatment of minorities and protesters by nationwide police departments.”

They also demanded a mess of weed and a case of Slim Jims.

The move sent shockwaves through the professional sports world, signalling what might be the first of many upcoming team protests.  The National Football League is a multi-bullion dollar American industry, and will effect the economy, no matter how many of President Trump’s less-than-rational followers warble about “boycotting”, an empty threat that has not ever worked in any capacity even once.

Team mascot and towel boy Joe Barron told the Buffalo Queefling News that the team was united in it’s intent to change the violent behavior of police.

“We’re not the best team.  We may not even be the second or third best team.  Hell, they based the loser guy in Ace Ventura after a Superbowl we actually lost by one kick in real life.  We had OJ.  We play in a town that is gradually filling up with the trumptarded and ignorant.  But none of this matters.  We will make a difference.  Even with a useless incompetent President who only encourages violence and murder and has no respect for our troops, we’ll do something.  We invented chicken wings and the Goo Goo Dolls.”

“Hey. Don’t forget me. Angel. Vampire with a soul? Remember? Oh, screw you.”

Their opponents for the match, the New York Jets have agreed with the sentiments of their rivals, and will likewise sit out the contest, led by their heroic team manager and former quarterback Flash Gordon.  It sounds like it’s going to be a tough season coming up for sports fans.

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