Foreign Governments Throw Inaugural Celebrations Since America Can’t

In the midst of a questionable pandemic, the transition of power from one President to the next will be, for the first time, uncelebrated domestically. No parade, no fanfare, just an unattended ceremony with b-list performers. Truly, the downfall of our democracy will take a world stage.

Given the noticeable absence of ceremony, several governments sympathetic to the Democratic cause gave stepped up to put on their own shows. Some available only on pay-per-view, some free for all to watch with only advertisement support, the world is ready to cash in on our failure.

China, obviously, will hold the biggest spectacle. They intend to have a full military display in which Biden is shown on big screens signing checks paid towards the Chinese military-industrial complex.

Next up is the Ukraine. While they don’t have the financial resources that China’s Biden ties provide to the same extent, the former communist country is still under Biden’s thumb.

In celebration of Biden’s inauguration, the Ukraine plans on having a “Run of the Virgins.” It’s similar to Spain’s “Running of the Bulls,” but with virgin women instead of bulls. Thousands of Ukrainian men have already signed up to be gored by these Eastern European She-Devils.

Perhaps the most surprising of all ceremonies will be the one that takes place in a conjunctive effort between North and South Korea. They plan on holding a joint celebration in honor of Biden’s election. They are choosing to honor his commitment to “not being able to tell the difference how they look” between the rival nations.

The actions of these governs has only shown to prove their animosity against America. Now that they have a sympathetic President in power, they have never been bolder.

You can find all these celebrations free online or at a minimal cost through your local cable provider.

About Benjamin Thompson 105 Articles
Recruited to ALLOD as a POE before I even knew what a POE was. Right handed, avid golfer and cook. I play 5 musical instruments proficiently and work often as an audio engineer in both recording studios and live music venues throughout the SF Bay Area. I do some of my best work when I'm slightly drunk. Never smoked a cigarette in my life. Cheers!!

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply