Pelosi Puts Trump on Federal ‘No Fly’ List


Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has proven time and time again that she has no love whatsoever for former President Donald Trump or his followers.  Following his most recent outing, where he met with Texas governor Greg Abbott at the southern border for a press-conference, the maven of the Congress took a surprising step to end further incursions by the twice-impeached embarrassment into current politics.

The federal “No Fly” list was originally intended to stop and catch terrorist suspects, and to derail their plans to cause trouble by isolating them from commercial travel.  But now, Pelosi has turned that restriction on the Apprentice star himself, adding him as a “risk to national security and the public face of the United States.”

“But I’m almost out of mouth condoms! What if Vladmir stops by???”

Pelosi made an explanatory statement this week to Trish Blake of the Washington Times-Queefer.

“Donald Trump is like one of those people who loves cops and always wanted to be a cop, and did ride-alongs with cops, and then failed the cop test but pretends he’s a cop anyway.  He has no business being at the border.  No one wants him there.  No one cares about his idiot opinions.  That’s why America threw him out.”

“I’m sure he has drivers.  Maybe he can get his fat ass on a bicycle.  I don’t know.  But he’s not flying anywhere for awhile.  Or going by train or bus or boat.  I’ve also done this because the pending charges against him in several courts makes him a flight risk.”

The Speaker added that she has no idea when the order would be lifted.  At the moment, the former hillbilly hero is effectively grounded.

Although it’s been pointed out that Trump does own his own private jet, the plane, Air Plump One, is currently not in working condition due to former First Son Donald Jr. severely damaging the fuselage after a cocaine-retrieval trip to Columbia two weeks ago.

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