NFL Announces ‘Kneeling Ceremony’ To Be Held During National Anthem at All Games

The NFL has announced that they will now offer a “kneeling ceremony” during the National Anthem for all players, coaches, and fans who choose not to participate.

According to our sources, the move will likely be the final nail in the coffin of the NFL. They’ve done some dumb things, patriots, but this just takes the cake.

Apparently, the ceremony will be an “open expression of any person or persons as guaranteed by the 1st Amendment.” What does that mean? Our reporter in the field, Skip Tetheluda explains:

“That means that if they want to blow Viking horns and scream devil-worship at the top of their lungs during our National Anthem, they can. The tolerant’ crowd will surely do all they can to disrupt our patriotism. “

The NFL says it’s tired of conforming to the unwoke crowd of “fake patriots” who think the “magic freedom song” is the most important 90 seconds of a football game. “Honestly,” said Bucs owner Art Tubolls, “we couldn’t care less.”

The new policy will start with the opening of the playoffs and will be extended at least through 2022. “We’re hoping this will end the standoff these right-win nutjobs think they’re in. Just actually boycott us and move on. We’re okay with it. There are 30 million of you and 320 million of everyone else. Get a grip.”

Well, patriots. It seems this is the time to double down and re-boycott the NFL.

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 408 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.