An official list of performers has been released by the Office of the President-Elect for the upcoming inauguration. It is teeming with communists, socialists, and foreign interests, culminating in a treasonous pairing of Willie Nelson with the group formerly known as the Dixie Chicks.
They will undoubtedly be boasting shameless pride over a “fair” election.
Kicking off the ceremony will be the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus singing our National Anthem. The group was handpicked by Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris for the task, showing love for her former hometown.
South Korean boy band sensation BTS is up next singing their own special rendition of Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”. BTS gained notoriety in the U.S. over the summer when millions of their fans falsely registered for tickets to Trump’s rally in Tulsa, OK, which resulted in a much lower turnout than anticipated.
BTS will be followed by Nikolai Volkoff Jr., son of WWE hall of famer and former tag team partner of the Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff.
In what will surely be a tear-jerker, he will sing the Soviet national anthem in dedication to his late father, who passed away in 2018. It is rumored that the Iron Sheik will be there waving the Soviet flag next to him.
Irish songstress Sinéad O’Connor then continues the show. She is expected to perform an a cappella version of Bob Marley’s “War”, in which she intends to change the word ‘racism’ to ‘fascism’ while simultaneously tearing up a picture of President Donald Trump.
This all leads to the headlining performance by Willie Nelson and The Chicks. It seems that marijuana has caused Willie to forget what was always on his mind. It also seems that you can take the chicks out of Dixie, but sadly, liberals have sucked the Dixie out of the chicks.