Biden Amnesty Program Offers New Citizens Green Jobs

WHAT???

As lines and lines of migrants queue up at the southern border, many patriotic Americans are getting nervous about the future of the country under the radical left leadership of President Joe Biden.  After his disgraced predecessor Donald Trump took a hard line with immigration, going so far as to kidnap children and hold them in cages until they died, Biden seems to be decidedly more pro-life.

According to tax records, Donald Trump paid for more abortions in the 80s and 90s than Gene Simmons of Kiss.

However, some more gullible Americans say that his proposed amnesty program which doesn’t in any way exist, is tantamount to preferential treatment.  According to the Sandy Batt Center for Masturbating to Newsmax, the amnesty program aims to set so-called “new citizens” up with green energy jobs right from the get-go.

Former first son Donald Trump Junior responded to the propaganda in his usual cocaine-fueled stupor from what appears to be a room constructed for use in the motion picture “The Silence of the Lambs.”

“This is the kind of thing my father warned you about, just before he told you we should nuke hurricanes.  There are people out there, real American people with white skin and faces that need jobs thanks to China making a virus in a lab with soy sauce or whatever.  That’s not dad’s fault.

When Joe Biped lets all these brown people have your job, and you have to cry under a windmill getting wind cancer, you’ll see.  Did you like my nickname there?  Joe Biped?  I thought of that myself.  Now maybe my dad will love me.”

Trump’s lawyer Rudy Guliani already sleeps in Junior’s car-shaped bed in Mar-a-lago.

The fictional jobs will be set up by Biden’s head of the Housing and Urban Development Department, Jon Guluv, and will mostly affect the solar and wind energy sectors. The President believes it might be a good idea to catch up to Europe at some point instead of blathering and crying about why it’s not the 1950s anymore like Trump and his cult of morons.

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