Woman Arrested for MAGA Hat At Little League Game


It was patriotic American Patrick Henry who once famously noted : “When the government takes the liberty from the threads of our very clothing, there is cause for a reckoning.”  Those words rang out with renewed meaning last week for Sandy and Joe Barron at David Duke Memorial Park in Queefburg, Alabama, when the former was escorted from her son’s little league baseball game and arrested for the supposed crime of wearing a Donald Trump “MAGA” cap.

Of course to be fair, she was also throwing crack cocaine confetti whenever someone got a base hit.

Despite the fact that the stadium had well-visible and posted signs forbidding the wearing of “political or inflammatory clothing” as well as the reality that I entirely made up the Patrick Henry quote, Mrs. Barron felt it was her right to don the hat, which has lately become a modern symbol of ignorance, hate, and usually, violently explosive diarrhea.

Security Chief of the park’s event, John Guluv, told media sources on the scene that the woman had boldly and knowingly engaged in activity prohibited by the management.

“When these Trumpers start screaming about the first amendment, ninety-nine times out of a hundred it’s through a lens of absolute douchbaggingly ignorant victimhood.  Any private institution, whether it be a stadium or NASCAR or a restaurant or even Facebook can make it’s own rules that you are required to adhere to, should you wish to make use of them.  Has nothing to do with any amendment.  If you don’t like not wearing your little red swastika in the park, have your own game in your back yard and invite all the proud boys you like.  We just don’t want your kind here because most of you smell like mothballs and Mad Dog 20/20.”

“Ooh, that’s on sale down the street for four dollars a gallon! Those turban people even take Discover!”

Mrs. Barron is being held at Queefburg’s 7th precinct detention facility in a small cage with a paper bed and a toilet facility that sits under a spotlight in the center of the reception area.  Her husband is currently starting a gofundme for her legal fees since he is employed as a part-time microwave repairman at a local Applebees.

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