Laura Bush : ‘Melania Is Embarrassing’

OH COME ON.

It’s been in the news fairly recently that the former living first ladies as a group, don’t seem to have much admiration or respect for the current holder of the glamorous position, Melania Trump.  From their unanimous slight at a gathering at Camp David, to their individual comments in last month’s issue of Basic Bitches magazine, it seems that the Slovenian blow-up doll isn’t well appreciated by her peers.

Statistically, any member of the cast of “Storage Wars” is more popular. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

Former eight-year White House matron Laura Bush has spoken up this week in an interview with CNN’s Estrogen Correspondent Sandy Batt, and she didn’t seem inclined to shoot any bouquets of sunshine and roses up the Mail-order Madame’s plastic ass.

“Oh, Mrs. Trump, that poor thing.  Yes.  Bit of an embarrassment, I’d say, wouldn’t you agree?  I mean, the position of first lady is supposed to come with duties, with obligations, decorum.  What exactly has the woman accomplished in her time?  Starting a half-hearted bridge club against internet name-calling?  How has that fared?  Has she conquered it yet, or has her oafish ape of a husband ignored it completely to become it’s ugly face?  I suppose she must have been quite too busy to attend to it, what with the driving need for breast implants and an American Express card with a bankrupt fraud’s name on it.  Even poor misguided Nancy, God rest her soul, tried to keep hers in check when he flew the mental coop.  Now we don’t even have a competent nursemaid for Ronnie round two.  That’s not being best, sweetheart.  It’s being useless.”

Like Commander Ryker when he thought he’d look cool running a Klingon ship. Saltine, please.

Mrs. Bush ended the interview by waxing nostalgic about her husband George W. Bush’s time in office with a small photo album.

“This is when he and Dick rode horses together.  It was a bit like watching that old Benny Hill program if Hitler had been on it.  Oh, and here’s Georgie speaking about attacking Iraq.”  The venerable woman shook her head sadly.

“It may have been a bit of a mistake…but compared to the idiot we’re dealing with now, it’s almost just a nostalgic dream, isn’t it?”

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