Kirk Cameron Receives ‘Spirit Wind Award’ For Bringing the Most People to Jesus

Kirk Cameron is a man of God and faith. For years he has been a Christian warrior on the front lines, Daviding in a world full of Goliaths. Praise Kirk for continuing the good fight.

Well, his good deeds will not go unrewarded. In addition to an eternity in heaven, Kirk has also received the ever so lusted after honor of receiving the “Spirit Wind Award.” IT’S A MAJOR AWARD!

This prize is only given to the select few who evangelize and bring the masses to Jesus. This was a close race and while the nominations are typically top-secret, we have it on good authority that Kirk beat out our beloved *whispers* Donald J Trump for this award.

Inscribed on the coveted bobble is the verse, “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

So, how did this 80s heartthrob jump off the pages of “Tiger Beat” and into the hearts of dozens of born again Christians? Well, he went on a pilgrimage to Thousand Oaks Mall, of course. There, among a candlelight processional, some hot cocoa, and some baby Jesus songs, the path was paved for 100s if not 1000s of people to meet Jesus Christ in the upcoming weeks. And, this movement doesn’t end there in that mall parking lot.

Oh no.

The tickets to Christ will continue to be spread far and wide in the weeks to come. Bless Kirk Cameron! Bless him!

Clearly, if the end game is an eternity in an after-life paradise, this guy has figured out a way to fast track thousands of souls to their maker, through some Christmas songs and a delusional notion that modern medicine and scientific experts are somehow in a massive conspiracy to singlehandedly wipe out liberty under the guise of saving lives during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC!

But yeah, awards and stuff. Congrats to this douche for potentially killing thousands. Merry Christmas.

About Norbert Heck 19 Articles
There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dott.

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