Pelosi Launches New Kavanaugh Investigation

UH OH!

Yesterday, America mourned the passing of one of the greatest and most notable Supreme Court justices of all time.  Losing the wisdom, bravery, and heart that Ruth Bader Ginsberg brought to the highest court in the land is going to be a devastating blow to the very concept of justice in the United States.

Since it would be disrespectful to put a photo of RBG in the same article as Kavanaugh, here is a representative picture of Wonder Woman.

As a consequence, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has decided to launch a federal investigation into the background and qualifications of the judge many consider Ginsberg’s opposite – Brett Kavanaugh, a slimy rape-enthusiast with little to no actual legal experience and a severely mentally unstable psychological complex.  Republican Senate committee members allowed Kavanaugh to be investigated during his confirmation hearing for 48 hours.

Sandy Batt of the watchdog organization Rapey Trump Judge Watch says that the void created by Ginsberg leaves absolutely no room for Kavanaugh to damage the highest court in the land with the same manner of incompetence as the similarly handicapped President who appointed him brings to the Executive branch.

“After what is undoubtedly one of the saddest days in American history, we can no longer afford to have one of Trump’s trademark psychopaths on the bench without a stable balancing influence.  Mrs. Pelosi is mobilizing dozens of agents to comb through every aspect of Kavanaugh’s background and experience to have him impeached and we all know that shouldnt take very long.  I’m not saying anything like he’s probably a serial killer, although there’s a very good chance.  I’m not saying he probably bought his way into and out of a law school for accreditedations that he’s far too stupid or drunk to achieve on his own.  We’re saying none of that.  We’re saying the professional investigators should decide those things.”

Listening devices have already been planted in Kavanaugh’s basement murder room.

Federal agents have already been turning up school and court records, and have begun monitoring the shitty judge’s garbage and email.  The good patriots who believe in justice feel it’s the least they can do.

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