Kamala Promises to Increase Food Stamps to $1000 Per Month

shut up! i'm rich!

As the national debt soars and our Military budgets shrink, Kamala Harris wants to give lazy people more money. Who is the welfare queen now, liberals?

In her welfare plan, Kamala proposes an increase of $1000 cash per month in food stamps. Cash. Those who receive it could spend it however they needed — not just on food.

“These people know what they need, they don’t need big government tellingthem how to spend their money. They may need to pay a bill or two. Maybe they want to treat themselves with some candy or lobster tail. No one has a right to tell you what you need to fuel your body and life.”

This proposal isn’t without loopholes, obviously. The junior senator turned VP-elect clearly hasn’t thought this one through.

Under the new provisions, people could sneak around, by going right into a liquor store and purchasing hard liquor and beer. Because it is cash money, there will be no paper trail whatsoever. Worse yet, hard drugs could be purchased with that money. Or, women could pay for abortions.

Art Tubolls, Director of Republicans Against Poor People says the plan is a complete disaster.

“How are we supposed to keep our knees on the necks of the poor if they are well fed and have the means to pay their bills? We can’t control them like that! This is a disaster! Next they will start demanding things like living wages and healthcare. This is preposterous!”

The Office of Economic Wealth agrees. If poor people have money, they will make terrible workers. When kept plunged deep in depression and financial ruin, they’ll let you do anything — keep wages low, work for no benefits — all because, you know, they need a few crumbs and like to splurge on pre-paid cellular plans.

Thanks, Obama. Thanks.

About Norbert Heck 21 Articles
There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dott.