New York AG Issues Arrest Warrant for Donald Trump Jr.

surprise announcement from NY AG

New York State Attorney General Letitia James has issued an arrest warrant for the son of the president, Donald Trump Junior.

The affidavit of probable cause attached to the arrest warrant cites a litany of charges related to his involvement with the Trump Organization, which he and his brother, Eric Trump, have managed since President Trump took office.

In addition to the arrest warrant, the attorney general issued a ne exeat order, requiring Trump Jr. to surrender his passport.

It was speculated that Ms. James would wait to file charges until ongoing litigation concerning the federal tax returns of the Trumps and the Trump organization is concluded.

It now appears that the state tax returns, which she has had in her possession for months now, contained enough evidence to proceed with the indictment.

We are still sifting through the 158-page indictment, which is full of legalese, but the main charges (as written in Latin legal terms in the indictment) are:

  • Eligeremus nasum tuum palam
  • Tertius gradus pedere
  • Publica nuditate (non compos mentis)
  • Sultum facit verbis
  • Deformis circumdatio indumentis
  • Tertius gradus amentis

At this point in time, it is unknown whether Mr. Trump has retained a defense attorney, or is even aware of and understands the charges.

Asked to elaborate on the charges, New York AG spokesperson Joe Barron responded:

“The charges are all clearly outlined in the indictment. I’m not sure what there is to elaborate on. If you can’t understand the charges, which are written in standard legal terms, you should either consult a lawyer or learn Latin.

In any event, we are committed to bringing young Mr. Trump to justice. He will pay for his numerous crimes. All charges were recommended by a secret grand jury of his peers.

And before anyone suggests the charges or their timing are political, they are not. We would have treated any other resident of New York the same as Mr. Trump under identical circumstances.”

Coming this close to the election could the charges influence the outcome? And are there other indictments around the corner?

If you believe that, then tu es solanum tuberosum cum nullum educationem.

About Watt A Plonker 28 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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