Trump Brokers Peace Deal Between Israel, Wakanda

WOW.

Recently, President Trump has conquered yet another aspect of the job of Leader of the Free World – peacemaking.

With all of his efforts centered on safeguarding the life and liberty of our greatest ally Israel, the morbidly obese Ghandi-figure has done it once again this week, restoring a working diplomatic relationship between the Jewish nation and it’s former rival, Wakanda.

You would think Genosha would be a safer bet with Magneto and all, but, you know, that dick Wolverine won’t wear a yarmulke.

While it’s true that the two nations never had any actual conflicts with one another, Trump felt that both needed to come together as a fan of classic actor Sammy Davis Junior, who fascinated the younger burgeoning racist for being both black and Jewish.

Also causing some difficulty with the delicate negotiations was the fact that Wakanda is a completely fictional country, and Israeli officials were wary of being made to look like idiotic dickheads.

Sandy Batt of the United Nation’s Agenda 42 Project calls the new relationship: “A historical triumph that will make President Trump a legend.”

“What this is is a historical triumph that will make President Trump a legend.  I hear the haters talking all the time about how his legacy will be of an embarrassing mistake, a walking talking comedy of errors that has damaged the United States for years to come.  And that’s fairly true.  But you find me another President who made friends between a nation of ham-haters and Marvel comics.  Marvel has a character called: ‘The Spectacular Spider Ham.’  He’s a pig.  Luckily he doesn’t live in Wakanda.   He might have got eaten.   Black people like pork.”

“Well, except for me because I made some comments about the ni-aba-nig-aba-ni-aba darkies.”

With the fate of Wakanda up in the proverbial air after the tragic and terrible loss of their great King T’Challa, the boost of security with their new ally could provide a much-needed morale lift that everyone needs.

There may no longer be a Sammy Davis Junior – But there is a Donald Trump.  And he’s saving us all.

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