12 States Legally Can’t Let ‘Impeached’ Trump on Ballot


The United States legal code when it comes to election statute can be a murky and confusing minefield.  Now such a mine has been uncovered by twelve states, including Ohio, Florida, and North Carolina, tacitly stating that a sitting President running for reelection can not be placed on the ballot as a result of the criminal proceeding.

There’s also something about people who pee on hookers, but first thing’s first.

Although the actual code differs from state to state, the federal one lies in section 15-C of partition 41, filing cabinet 66.  It declares that : “No disgraced President desperately trying to cling to power despite being criminally prosecuted and embarrassed like a 13-year old boy in gym class who got kicked in the balls in front of the girls and they all laughed and called him ‘Nutcrunch’, shall be allowed on the ballot in case some absolute moron tries to vote for him.”

Florida’s electionmaster general, Sandy Batt, says the restriction makes a lot of sense, especially when applied to President Trump.

“First of all, there are a lot of deluded bumbletwats out there that believe Trump somehow wasn’t impeached, even though they watched it happening.  He’s impeached.  It’s over.  Permanent.  Okay.  The statute was intended for just such a douchebag ending up in the White House.  The Founders intended to stop such a massive mistake in its first term at the very least, to prevent any more damage to the country.   Unfortunately, it was only adopted by 12 states in 1902.  Fortunately for us, those are 12 that the Chimpytard just barely managed to get last time.  So good luck, I guess.  For once, Florida came out on a list of the 12 best of something.”

Florida does take the top spot for children borne of mixed hillbilly/horse relationships.

Although the rule can be appealed, there won’t be enough time to do so before the 2020 election, and the only lawyer available, Trey Gowdy, has never won so much as a free apple pie in a McDonald’s Monopoly game.  It looks like Trump’s already failing campaign is going to have to step it up.

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