Hunter Biden : ‘I Don’t Use Email’

WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT.

Quite a bit of controversy has erupted from a story out of the tabloid publication New York Post claiming that a computer belonging to Vice Presidential son Hunter Biden was recovered in a repair shop, and contained a hard drive full of incriminating emails.

The system in question was identified by having a “Biden” sticker on it because many of those are popular and commonly available in sticker outlets.

Available online or at a Decal Depot near you.

Critics of the report are calling it laughably false for reasons including a millionaire who takes his $200 computer in for repairs instead of simply replacing it, the extreme ridiculousness of anyone downloading all their emails to a hard drive, having anything sent out for repair 3000 miles away, and the involvement of Rudy Guliani who has a history of lying on President Trump’s behalf and then admitting the lie mere minutes later on live television.

Social media has taken a stand by refusing to share the obviously phony fairy tale because it’s a perfect example of the type of fake news that washed over the 2016 election and convinced dipshits that Hillary Clinton is a secret serial killer and Trump is a Christian.

This weekend, the younger Biden took to an interview with Joe Barron of the Gullible Queef Gazette to at least attempt to explain the nonsense to Trump’s following of gullible queefs.

“I don’t even use email.  I don’t use cocaine any longer either.  I had a problem in the past, but got over it.

I wish only the same strength and blessings to Mr. Trump’s son, who is obviously fighting the same addiction now.  There is no truth whatsoever to any part of this story which ‘broke’ suspiciously close to an election that my father is currently ahead in.

Exposed by his rival’s most incompetent lawyer.  With more plot holes than Avengers : Endgame.  If Thanos could do anything with the infinity stones, and wanted to save half the universe from starvation, why didn’t he just command the stones to make double the resources available?  Right?

The sticker kills me.  Why would we have ‘Biden stickers’?  Are we twelve-year old Japanese girls?  Yeah, so, no, Rudy.  Another fail.  Maybe Fox will hire you.”

Hey Wong, if you can open teleport portals, why didn’t you just transport the top half of Thanos to Mars? That would have saved some trouble.

As more and more evidence appears to debunk this story that really shouldn’t require it, conservatives are becoming more and more silent.

And that’s a good thing.

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