CBS Removes ‘I Love Lucy’ From Catalog Due to Racist Content

OH COME ON.

We’ve talked about the liberal overreach of so-called “cancel culture” before.  It’s like suddenly every old thing that good and decent baby-boomer aged Americans loved is “racist”, “sexist”, or “homophobic” in one way or another.  Ask Dr. Suess and Mr. Potato Head.

Now that maniacal erasing of our white culture has blasted into the classic black-and-white living room of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez, as CBS Publishing and Broadcasting has removed all episodes of the sitcom “I Love Lucy” from it’s available catalog for streaming, televised reruns, and even DVD sales.

“I will snatch them right from under your bed at night, you little pumpkins! Cackle cackle cackle!”

Lead executive of the network’s public relations department Joe Barron explained the decision to a reporter from the Queeflantic Monthly.

“I know from the outside, our program ‘I Love Lucy’ has always seemed very pure and inoffensive to the general public because of it’s vintage American values and clean comedic situations.  But after further inspection by activist groups and an internal investigation, we’ve found some material condoning values that are not in line with CBS, it’s sponsors, or it’s management.

The racial stereotypes of the character ‘Ricky Ricardo’ are troubling, with his silly accent and tendency to a hot temper.  In addition, Mrs. Ball’s character was constantly shrill, inept, and portrayed as a dutiful housewife.  These images are unacceptable and we are removing them, destroying the original tapes, and magnetizing the digital copies.  So suck it.”

You’re next after the world hears what that kid said under hypnosis, Van Dyke.

Some people say the destruction of what is considered to be one of the most wholesome television programs in history is a severe overreaction, but former employees of the show had other opinions.

“A lot of the time, Lucille was held in a broom closet before the filming of an episode began for hours,” revealed an insider.  “This was so her lady parts wouldn’t be seen by men on set who might masturbate.  They also used to refer to Mr. Arnez as ‘Tamale Face.’  It was a little scary.”

Farewell, Lady Lucy.  I suppose it was good while it lasted.  At least we still have The White Shadow.

 

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