Pelosi Invokes Article 11 To Freeze Presidential Pardons


One of the most powerful, and some say, equally nebulous powers afforded the commander in chief, is the power to issue pardons to free chosen individuals from prosecution after they have committed a crime, or are embroiled in accusations of criminal activity.

President Trump, on his way towards the exit that Americans overwhelmingly demanded he take from the White House, has made news by pardoning his personal friends from various crimes, and has pondered “pre-emptive” pardons for his family and other administration lawbreakers.

He has also issued an Amber Alert for a missing “Kraken” individual.

Conversely, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has the ability to invoke article eleven of the Constitution II, which affords her the ability as leader of the Congress and holder of a superior IQ score, to immediately freeze all pardons dispensed by Trump by classifying him under section 6 : “Mentally unable to function”, or “Criminally negligent and impeached.”

Constitution II is the well-known sequel to the original smash hit document which continued to protect and describe the rights of American people and those within it’s borders.

Joe Barron of the PAOF, or Potato Attorneys of Facebook, calls Pelosi’s action : “A desperate attempt to reign in the injustice being promoted by Trump, an outgoing mentally-snapped dipshit.”  He went on further to the Washington Queefball this afternoon.

“Pre-emptively pardoning people is like saying in a courtroom: ‘Just so you know, this guy right here gets a pass in case you find out he killed someone or a sackful of money comes up missing.’  Basically, Trump wants to run ‘Minority Report’ backwards.  Moronity Report.  It’s as if the already historically most slimy and criminally guilty President ever needs to raise the bar even higher on how much he can screw the country on his way out.  I salute the Speaker for putting at least a pause to it.”

Now if she could put the kibosh on the forty years too late Top Gun sequel nobody wants, we’d give her a medal.

Pelosi hasn’t yet responded to calls about specifics, as she was concentrating on getting idiot Republicans to agree to help Americans that their leader has, and continues to, poison.  And ice cream.  Eating ice cream you can’t afford, tater.

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