New Evidence Proves Georgia Election Shenanigans

breaking scandal

American patriots have long suspected that something was amiss.

After all, how could President Trump have been leading by a landslide on election night, only to wake up the next morning to find himself losing to Sleepy Joe Biden?

This was a pattern that was repeated in all of the swing states that the president “lost.”

And now breathtaking and overwhelming new evidence has emerged in one of those key swing states that this pattern was anything but a coincidence.

That state is Georgia, scene of perhaps the most contested swing state in the election.

The story was first uncovered by seasoned OAN investigative reporter Cletus Derpfinger, who won a Wurlitzer Prize earlier this year for his uncovering of a scandal that tied Hunter Biden to the use of counterfeit Chinese measuring spoons in his kitchen.

The story begins in early November in Georgia, where election officials were struggling to deal with the huge anticipated volume of unsolicited mail-in ballots. There simply weren’t enough volunteers to deal with them. At the same time, Georgia state GOP RINOs tied to the Deep State were desperate to find ways in which to deny President Trump a victory.

So where did they find willing participants for their scheme? Look no further than Tibet, where the global pandemic has severely curtailed tourism, in particular trips to the top of Mount Everest. As a result, thousands of unemployed Nigerian Mountain Sherpas, themselves seasonal workers in Tibet, were facing a stark choice between returning home or looking for work at local kabob shops.

Enter the Bill Gates Foundation, which was “coincidentally” in the area conducting a transgender study of the critically endangered Horned Tibetan Mountain Llama.

Always looking for ways in which to support the Deep State, the Gates Foundation volunteered to use its private fleet of planes to fly the unemployed Nigerian Mountain Sherpas to Atlanta, where the state GOP sponsored them for temporary N1A1 work permits.

What happened next is described by Ovuvuevuevue Enyetuenwuevue Ugbemugbem Osas, Chief Steward of the Nigerian Mountain Sherpa Union:

“We knew it was all a scam from the get go. Our job was basically to “count” the ballots and throw out every second one. To prevent the missing ones from being found, we altered them to look like Buddhist Mahakala Prayer Protection Flags and shipped them back to Tibet, where we were going to sell them to unsuspecting tourists in local gift shops. Hey man, a job is a job. These are desperate times and every penny counts. We even got a bonus and free kabobs from the Soros Foundation.”

Hats off to OAN for their excellent, accurate, and factual reporting. There is a reason they are the new rising star in conservative media and the darling of Potatriots™ all over the country.

About Watt A Plonker 28 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply