Fox News Hires Roseanne to Host New Morning Show

According to sources deep inside the management at Fox News, Roseanne Barr will become a regular there. Without much of a political past to fall back on, Roseanne will play the role of newly awoken Trump supporter, something the actress apparently holds dear.

The show, which is still untitled as this whole thing is still unconfirmed, would air in the morning sometime after Fox and Friends. The network has also been toying with the idea of giving President Trump his own half-hour in the morning, which might make a perfect compliment to Barr’s new format.

The network won’t officially comment, but Program Director Art Tubolls says they’d love to add a talent like Roseanne:

“I think it’s safe to say we’d drop Judge Napolitano for her. He’s not willing to accept our president no matter what. Roseanne will be far eaier to control and won’t enrage our viewers.

Tubolls says that the average Fox viewer remembers Roseanne fondly and probably won’t care that she’s a known racist and intolerant turd. “That’s not what people care about anymore. Trump has proven that hate I acceptable as long as it’s directed at the right people.”

The network has apparently been in talks with Roseanne for quite some time but needed to wait until the time was right to pull the trigger on hiring her. According to a new Rasmussen poll, Barr is still loved by 52 percent of Americans, including a whopping 84 percent of Republicans.

Call her a racist all you want, liberals. She’s here to stay.

About Flagg Eagleton 33 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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