Every year, the superbowl halftime show is a garish spectacle of glamour and wizardry, all flittering around whichever popular pop idol or classic crooner the NFL can sign up to get the highest ratings for the otherwise empty break. Commercial rates are the highest of the year for the show, and getting the most eyes and ears to pay attention to any advertiser can make or break them.
The next Superbowl will take place in February of next year, most likely during the tenure of a new President, and to celebrate, the entertainment committee for the league has green lit an appropriate pair of artists : pop music diva Taylor Swift, accompanied by sex symbol and liberal icon Jane Fonda.
Candidates Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, the presumptive leaders of the new administration, have both expressed overjoyed excitement and support for the duo, stating that : “It sounds like it’s sure to be a perfect celebration of the left’s ideology pumped out en-masse on the national stage.” Democratic spokesperson Joe Barron emphasized that the future commanders in chief were comfortable using the term “en masse” as the future former President Trump’s supporters won’t know what it means.
According to the scheduled set list, the show will begin with a rendition of Swift’s hit single “You Ain’t My President”, her Trump-bashing number one anthem. Following up will be a Vietnam-themed stage set, upon which Fonda and the star will perform a version of the Skid Row classic “Get The Fuck Out” by rock band Skid Row, and dedicated to the Trump family.
Finally, the show will end with the superstar couple joined on stage by fifty women dressed as the late justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg performing the Eurythmic’s “Sisters Are Doing it For Themselves”, dancing around a burning effigy of Mr. and Mrs. Trump. It’s guaranteed to turn heads and cash register receipts.