Witness – Biden Sworn in On Fake ‘Prop Bible’


It’s been said that it isn’t, and never has been necessary to be sworn into a position of political service on a Bible, since this is the United States, a free secular nation, where no religion is mandatory or placed above any other.  Those that stated that statement stated it in a manner of which it was stated truthfully.

All of this might help to explain the testimony of an eye-witness who claims that today’s inauguration ceremony for President Joe Biden made use of a “prop bible”, a facsimile of the Good Book, used for various reasons for public events.  The witness, Press Corps vice blumpkinmaster Sandy Batt, says that it appears to be the same fake tome held by former pretend President Donald Trump after he had a crowd of American citizens gassed in order to pander to the Jesus freaks.

They absolutely adore this photo of Barron Trump just after he was given a puppy. May it rest in peace.

According to Batt, an overheard conversation between Biden and an unknown aide made clear that the incoming leader didn’t want to touch “some filthy old fairy tale book”, and called for the prop, which is made from aborted fetal tissue and filled with miniature sausages, should the President become peckish during or after the ceremony.

Although the book itself is fake, it needs to be said yet again, that the transference of power is not because Biden won the election.  It wasn’t even close.  No voter fraud was found, everyone was allowed to watch the tabulation and recheck ballots.  This paragraph should satisfy the errant one or two Trump supporters who managed to sound out the words this far, but it still won’t, because cults are gonna f*cking cult.

Inset photo – Donald Trump attempts to use his magic “Scanners” power to explode a supporter’s vagina.

With Joe Biden now our 46th President, fictional fake Bible or not, it will be interesting to see how quickly his administration can dismantle the absolute shitshow Trump made out of the White House.  Hit the turbo boost and jump that bridge, Uncle Joe!

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