Budweiser, Coors, VW Threaten to Pull Superbowl Ads if Players Don’t Kneel

PC run amok?

In yet another sign that political correctness has gone too far, Budweiser, Coors and Volkswagen Group are now threatening to pull millions of dollars worth of Superbowl ads if players don’t kneel during the national anthem.

The move comes as US companies are increasingly becoming socially aware, or “woke” in politically correct terms.

And, the move is sure to outrage many patriotic fans of the National Football League, who have had just about enough of players disrespecting the US flag.

Surely, the Budweiser frogs and Clydesdale horse teams would be ashamed to learn of this outrage, as would the Rocky Mountains, where the Coors Brewing Company draws its water from the springs that America the beautiful so graciously provides.

As for Volkswagen, well, they’re not even American, so what gives them the right to interfere in US values is unclear, to say the least.

We reached out to both Budweiser and Coors for comment. While Coors did not respond to our request, Budweiser spokesperson Booze Allen issued the following statement:

“Like most other American companies, we have come to realize over the past few years that American values are changing, along with society in general.

We have therefore decided to change along with America. Gone are the days when tradition rules. It is now change that rules.

And that change dictates that players should kneel for the national anthem.

And this is not the only change that we are implementing at Budweiser. For example, in the very near future we will be rolling out several new beers that reflect the times, including LGBT Light, BLM Stout, and Screaming Vagina, a beer that caters to feminist tastes.”

Otto Waalkes, spokesperson for the Volkswagen Group, echoed those sentiments:

“Es ist uns im Grunde genommen scheiss egal, was die Amis denken. Die meisten sind sowieso Vollidioten. Wir wollen nur, dass sie unsere Autos kaufen.

Die Trump Anhänger können uns mal kreuz und quer am Arsch lecken. Was wollen die denn überhaupt? Die können sich doch sowieso keinen Volkswagen leisten.”

So there you have it. Yet another sad commentary on the times that is sure to cause outrage among TruPotatriots™.

About Watt A Plonker 23 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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