Biden Immigration Plan Adds 2 Million New ‘Dreamers’

OH COME ON.

You may remember the plight of the undocumented citizens labeled “Dreamers” by President Barack Obama and his administration.  The term was meant to refer to the hundreds of thousands of young people brought to this country as infants, fearing deportation to countries that, in very real senses, they have never seen or experienced.

“Excuse me, does anyone know if this country is gonna have Asian porn? I kinda got used to that.”

According to new President Joe Biden’s incoming Queef of Staff Sandy Batt, however, under 46’s updated act 277, the “Dreamer” sobriquet will soon cover nearly two million undocumented aliens currently living within the United States.  That’s quite a few more brown people than racist Trump supporting old fruit bats may be ready for.  Malcom?

Thanks, Fallis.  Yes, it’s true that while this fictional tale of undercover invasion will terrify the xenophobic dumbletwats who moan and cry about “open borders”, a phrase and idea used by exactly zero lawmakers, it also demonstrates how gullible these yammering chiba monkies in the Trump Cult are, and sheds light on how they were conned into voting for a career criminal not once, but twice.   Fallis?

Thanks Mal.  Yes, the policy is sure to raise dandruff-littered eyebrows among conservative stalwarts like Lou Dobbs, Sean Hannity, and Ted Cruz, who is desperately attempting to rebrand himself as a libertarian, but remains too slimy and unlikable, still, to pull it off.  Ted Cruz is what happens when the nerd nobody liked in high school gets bitten by a radioactive shitworm and gets the appropriate power set.

“My Snotsense is tingling…that nefarious Dr. Intercourse For Fun must be nearby!”

Some Facebook guy in Blumpkin, Alabama worries that the influx of new citizens will damage the country.

“We ain’t got but much room here in Merica, and just that alone means them Mexercans could sink all the roads and land down into whatever’s underneath it.  I mean besides Gramma Fran what I put down there myself when she went to Jesus watching Andy Griffith.  What are all these people gonna eat?  We ain’t got us enough of them taco torpedas!”

Now back to your satire page, already in progress.

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