Incoming First Lady Doctor Jill Biden is looking to bring respect and class back to her office after what she sees as four years of useless ineptitude and sour hooker stank, and she believes the journey starts with the news media.
After a bit of controversial confusion regarding the educator’s doctorate by insulting misogynistic micro-penised representitives at the Wall Street Journal, Biden is looking to talk up her hard-earned “Doctor” title. Friends say the brainy and well-mannered woman wishes to distance herself as far away as possible from the yammering hostel madame that was Melania Trump.
Close friend and confidant of the couple Sandy Batt, says that the Doctor hasn’t exactly held Mrs. Trump in high regard during her tenure in the White House. The following is an excerpt from her interview with Cosmoqueefitan magazine :
“Look, Melania very obviously didn’t want her position as a high-profile spokesperson in the highest office in the land. She was a mail order bride, for Christ’s sake. She wanted Donald’s American Express card, a bathroom with pipes that’s indoors, and something to eat that isn’t made out of blended up turnips. Her signature ‘Be Best’ initiative isn’t even a proper title, along with being meaningless. What did that Slovenian bed-bouncer make ‘best’? The saline breast implant industry? I mean, come on. I don’t buy the ‘six languages’ garbage either. That fish-faced Natasha can’t even frown in ‘evolved human’ right.”
Dr. Biden’s educational degree has been the subject of dissection by several members of the more ridiculously jealous conservative media as of late, including a host of overweight and pale erectile-dysfunction victims like Tucker Carlson who only managed to get G.E.D.’s by stealing the answers from a smarter kid nearby and passing the drug test with a vial of apple juice and saline solution.
At any rate, it seems the good Doctor is not going to be a pushover know-nothing hiding in fear from the public eye like her predecessor. America better get ready for less Dr. Robin Williams and more Dr. Chaos from South Park.