Democrats Pledge to Ban Log Cabin Syrup

The truth is right in front of you

Graham was brought up by a family who had adopted him in the 1950s from a Nutella commercial.

The Democrats are seeking to take over breakfast! And by taking over breakfast, they mean to get rid of an American institution, Log Cabin Syrup. The popular breakfast staple has been on the table of Americans for decades.

It seems that they are going after everything to do with our heritage and history in their quest to turn the United States of America into a store-brand syrup eating socialist nation.

Congressman Juan Rodriguez (D-OR) spoke with Sandy Batt about the party’s intentions.

“We’ve already gotten rid of Confederate statues, Aunt Jemima, and Mrs. Butterworth. So we all got to thinking. Who is Trump comparing his Presidency to? Lincoln. Where was Lincoln born? A log cabin.

All the suburban housewives feeding their kids a hearty breakfast before sending them to school are in reality just training the next generation to identify as Republican. The log cabin has to go too.”

Luckily for us, the Republicans are defending our freedom to eat pancakes with our patriotic syrup.

Senator Jean. L. Bluto (R-AL) delivered an impassioned speech on the Senate floor today.

“They take away our logo mascots and we fall back. They take out all of our statues and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here!  This far, no further!

This fight is not over.  Nothing is over until we decide it is!  Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?  Hell no.  And it ain’t over now cause when the going gets tough, the tough get going!  Now who’s with me?”

It’s going to take a lot of spirit like that from Senator Bluto and others if we are to stop the evil Democrat agenda from taking hold of America.  Too much erosion of our core values has already taken place in the name of progressive, liberal ideas.  This is precisely why, come November, we need to show up strong at the polls.

Save our syrup.  Vote Republican!

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 408 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.


  1. spanky lived a tragic life..
    maybe that’s why we’re all so fckued up
    everyone going for the syrup!
    aunt jemima would be proud
    our gangs ))

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