Batts, Iowa is a quiet place, where families have lived for generations and everyone knows each other. A patriotic town, Batts celebrates our nation’s holidays and supports our nation’s legal presidents.
That’s why investigators were baffled when a Democrat managed to pull out an election win in a place that saw 98 percent of the vote go to Trump.
At first, they thought maybe it was a mistake, but no. It was as real as can be. Joe Barron, a Democrat and the reason the tally for Trump wasn’t 100 percent, had managed to pull out a vote count of 47-42.
Did people just like him a lot? Was he another Joe Manchin, who says he’s a Democrat for the blue-collar vote but is actually Republican-lite?
Nope. As it turns out, Barron was indicted for three counts of election fraud when the town registrar did the math and realized there are only 43 possible votes he could have gotten:
“Yeah, I don’t see how they missed it on election day. There ain’t but a dozen families in town. They all know each other. They gather on the first to cash their disability checks and then again on the 4th to stock up on food stamp day.
“So Joe getting all those votes seems a little odd.”
Odd it is. The town is small, in the middle of nowhere, and covered in Trump propaganda. There’s no way Barron could have won, and now he’s paying the price.
Barron is being held without bail and the election has been rescheduled for next week.
The two candidates running for Barron’s PTA President seat are both Republicans and are both standing strong on a platform of improving the football stadium and the quality of the hot dogs.
Nate Silver has the race dead even. This one should come down to the wire.
Thankfully, the corruption was found and the movie night fund is safe from that Democrat’s lying, cheating hands.