Deep State Operative Admits To Infecting First Family

A Deep State Operative has claimed responsibility for infecting President Trump and his wife with the coronavirus.

According to the official Deep State website, SorosIsGod,com, an operative set out to infect the first family, and he was successful:

“Our guy slipped into the West Wing disguised as a Door Dash driver with a bag full of Big Macs. The Big Macs had a special surprise, however, in the form of some Covid snot from an infected person.

“The President is already used to eating snot, so the op wasn’t very difficult. It took fewer than 3 days for him to test positive.”

Now that the truth is out there, hopefully, the Secret Service will be able to track the imposter down. Special Agent Joe Barron says the job won’t be easy:

“It’s estimated that the President gets 43 Big Mac deliveries in any given week, so determining which of the drivers is the guilty party won’t be easy.”

The President is personally overseeing the investigation and has ordered that the Secret Service starts with any minorities who may have slipped past security, followed by females, and then people with disabilities. “It’s gotta be someone who hates me, he said to a close friend, “and everyone knows those people hate me the most.”

Trump may be underestimating how many white men hate him, but that’s not really what’s important. What’s important is that the culprit is found and sent to GITMO for the rest of his or her life without a trial. Just like God intended.

Prayers for the First Family, patriots. We can only hope they make it through.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 419 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.