Cat Fight Breaks Out Between AOC and Kamala Harris in Congress

Meow

Alexandria Ocasio Cortez has been considered a nuisance by both republicans and her own party since being elected to the House of Representatives in 2017.  She’s often loud-mouthed, vulgar, and incorrect while delivering her dissertations in congress.

Her “Green New Deal” is considered a work of fiction, and often mocked by her colleagues.

Conversely, Kamala Harris is a seasoned politician. Having worked her way up from middle-class call girl to the vice presidency is no small feat, even for the most gifted of streetwalkers.

Her tenacity and willingness to sacrifice her body for her career is Clinton-esque in her conviction.

This week, those two distinctly different personalities clashed behind a closed-door meeting of congress. What began as a simple difference of opinion regarding congressional protocol, erupted into a full-on catfight between the two democratic vixens.

It started when AOC approached Harris and asked for a sidebar while she was scolding Senator Lyndsey Graham. While no one was privy to that conversation, you could see the tension build as the two conversed.

Then, shockingly, Harris shoved AOC away. This prompted AOC to blow her harassment whistle, and the rest of her squad, Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, and newly indoctrinated member Raphael Warlock sprang into action.

In response, Kamala Harris pulled out her iPhone and said, “Hey Siri.  Bubungo.”

Suddenly, Diane Feinstein, Nancy Pelosi, and Jackie Speier descended from the capitol dome, vaseline, and razor blades at the ready. An old-school catfight was at hand!

It began with The Squad breaking into a hip hop dance routine, much like the battle scene from the legendary Wayans brothers movie “White Chicks.”  They popped and locked in front of the old hags, making clear this was their capitol now.

Harris’ crew countered with a well-choreographed number, something like you would see in “Westside Story.”  The Squad, as well as many other members of congress, witnessed the routine with a look of confusion on their faces. Mitch McConnell, however, was seen bobbing in his seat while clapping on the 1 and the 3.

Just as the scene was about to get out of control, capitol police officer Eugene Goodman, the hero of the insurrection, intervened, and put an end to the whole thing.  All the women were returned to their cages, and none received snacks before bedtime.

About Benjamin Thompson 102 Articles
Recruited to ALLOD as a POE before I even knew what a POE was. Right handed, avid golfer and cook. I play 5 musical instruments proficiently and work often as an audio engineer in both recording studios and live music venues throughout the SF Bay Area. I do some of my best work when I'm slightly drunk. Never smoked a cigarette in my life. Cheers!!

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