Confessions: Biden’s Priest Tells All

There are three vows every Catholic priest must take: poverty, chastity, and obedience. An integral part of keeping these vows is respecting the privacy of those they take confession from.

When Joe Biden’s priest, Father Gabriele Amorth, took his final confession, he knew he would no longer be able to abide by his vows.

The sacrament of confession is one of the most deeply personal experiences one can have within the Catholic Church. The admission of one’s sins is both sorrowful and satisfying. We are all sinners, but according to Father Amorth, he may be the evilest sinner of all time.

“Upon hearing the great evil Joe Biden has been party to, and realizing what he is capable of, I had no other choice but to put the safety of my country, and the world, ahead of my vows. I do this at the peril of my own soul.”

These were the chilling words spoken to us by Father Amorth as he confessed the sins of Joe Biden to the world.

Biden’s sins are too many to list in one mere article, but some of the highlights are pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, sloth, gerrymandering, philandering, ate pork, cut in line, and approval of homosexuality. These are terrifying as it is, but considering the power Biden holds, they are also dangerous. However, none of these transgressions hold a candle to his greatest sin of all.

Joe Biden wears clothing made of blended fabrics.

This is the most heinous of all sins, and God Himself finds it difficult to forgive. The combining of wool and linen into a single garment is the work of Satan’s tailor. To wear such a garment is to be suited by Hell’s Haberdasher™. It was this sin that Father Amorth went one step too far. “It was this particular sin that, when confessed, my decision became clear. The world must know this secret that was meant for only myself and God.”

We all appreciate the painful decision Father Amorth has made for us. The Catholic Diocese of Wilmington, Delaware is considering his future this coming week in meetings with the Vatican. We just hope his sacrifice will not be in vain. As-Salaam-Alaikum, Father Amorth.

About Benjamin Thompson 105 Articles
Recruited to ALLOD as a POE before I even knew what a POE was. Right handed, avid golfer and cook. I play 5 musical instruments proficiently and work often as an audio engineer in both recording studios and live music venues throughout the SF Bay Area. I do some of my best work when I'm slightly drunk. Never smoked a cigarette in my life. Cheers!!

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