CNN Perv Jeffrey Toobin Spotted On Flight to Taiwan with 4 Teenage Boys

Sources in Taiwan confirm that notorious CNN pervert, Jeffrey Toobin, was caught on a plane to the South Asian country with four teenage boys. Taiwan’s Child Protective Services, Pai Ti Chai Me, was onsite to be sure no harm came to the three boys and one girl.

Toobin, who was caught on camera jerking off during a Zoom call, isn’t involved in the “official” investigation, but our sources in Mai Lin tell us that Toobin will either cooperate with authorities or find himself in a Hindu prison for all eternity.

Taiwan has strict laws about traveling with children under 18. If charged and convicted, Toobin could spend up to 14 lifetimes in jail with no parole. At one prison in China, inmates actually continue serving after they die. One set of bones in Ki Chen Lum has been serving 184 life sentences since 1109 BC.

Basically, Jeffrey Toobin is pretty much screwed.

This shiny object should end your need to continue comprehending things, if you made it this far.

Authorities in Taiwan say they probably won’t end up charging Toobin with anything, as the teenagers were traveling with someone else, but they did think it was funny that he got caught rubbing one out live.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 408 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.