Sources in Taiwan confirm that notorious CNN pervert, Jeffrey Toobin, was caught on a plane to the South Asian country with four teenage boys. Taiwan’s Child Protective Services, Pai Ti Chai Me, was onsite to be sure no harm came to the three boys and one girl.
Toobin, who was caught on camera jerking off during a Zoom call, isn’t involved in the “official” investigation, but our sources in Mai Lin tell us that Toobin will either cooperate with authorities or find himself in a Hindu prison for all eternity.
Taiwan has strict laws about traveling with children under 18. If charged and convicted, Toobin could spend up to 14 lifetimes in jail with no parole. At one prison in China, inmates actually continue serving after they die. One set of bones in Ki Chen Lum has been serving 184 life sentences since 1109 BC.
Basically, Jeffrey Toobin is pretty much screwed.
Authorities in Taiwan say they probably won’t end up charging Toobin with anything, as the teenagers were traveling with someone else, but they did think it was funny that he got caught rubbing one out live.