Lindell to Lead Fact-Finding Expedition to Chinese Lab


As the economy improves and the Trump plague begins to come under control, thabks to the amazing efforts of the Biden administration, cable news has come to need a new focus for at least a week.  The desperate conservative networks, especially, lose their over-70 angry old gummer crowd easily when they can’t complain about everything or don’t have a conspiracy to discuss at the Waffle House.

Tucker Carlson is still upset that black people walk around fully clothed and unmanacled.

And so comes the triumphant return of the “China did it on purpose” parade, with the added bonus of “Fauci is a liar” sprinkled on top.  As the “crisis” at the southern border begins to get under control, (you’ll notice THAT particular story suddenly vanished), it’s the hot new trash for all the Teabaggers and Q’s alike.

Luckily, there’s plucky hero Mike Lindell, the pillionaire that all low-IQ 20-mph drivers trust to get the REAL story just short of Bigfoot and the big-headed aliens, and don’t need to hear any realistic proof or evidence from.

Lindell has chartered an investigative trip to Wuhan, China, in order to seek out the details of the origin of the Covid virus.  Was it man made?  On purpose?  Released to the entire world just to get at Trump and America’s freedoms?  And what if such a fever dream were true?  Should we simply begin nuking the Chinese?   Trump would, based only on that.

“And let’s just rob all of Europe’s banks too. Why not? Who’s gonna stop us?”

Sandy Batt of the American Queefalogical Foundation believes the kind of mental illness and debunked irrational nonsense like this, pushed by the likes of Fox News, Ted Cruz, and other disreputable weasels is toxic, but unsurprising.

“Remember, these are people who STILL think the election was stolen based on absolutely no evidence, think the vaccines have microchips in them like a Suicide Squad movie, and want murder to be legal whenever they feel like it.  They’re not sensible or rational.  These are the people we invented padded helmets for.”

As for the aforementioned Dr. Fauci, he has more or less finally had it with trying to save the lives of shambling schizophrenic dipshits, and encourages the Lindell Expedition.   Maybe they’ll roll over the damaged-Tom Selleck-clone-looking prick with a tank.

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