Biden To Donate First Quarter Salary to Planned Parenthood

UNBELIEVABLE!

Following in the footsteps of his predecessor Donald Trump, as well as a host of others before him, President Joe Biden will be donating his salary each quarter to a worthy charity.  It’s a magnanimous gesture to help those American non-profits that provide desperately needed relief or services.

A disappointed Mike Lindell was hoping to get a few bucks for an eight ball. That’s the way the pillow crumbles, I guess. Stay in school, kids.

Chief of staff Joeseph Barron revealed to media sources this week that Biden’s first quarter earnings as newly elected commander in chief will go to family health and welfare organization Planned Parenthood for it’s extraordinary work with vaccine and medicine distribution, medical help and basic care services, and pregnancy consultation.

The move has proven controversial in the eyes of many “teabagger” blumpkins on the conservative side, to no one’s surprise, as they have made significant drooling attempts to connect the charitable service with “abortion”, even though the procedure accounts for approximately 2% of its work.

In truth, abortion rates nationwide have dropped within the last decade as contraception methods become more effective and less chastised by the very same religious fanatics who opposed them.  This doesn’t prevent many so-called “libertarians” from yammering on about the government “controlling” their Twitter accounts and trigger fingers while wholeheartedly wanting them to have a say over the common vagina.

In addition, masses of “Christians” who suddenly became evangelicals when the President turned black, believe the Bible has a place as a medical textbook now, after doing nothing whatsoever during the 48 years the procedure has been legal.

“We had gay teletubbies and unisex bathrooms to wet our pants over! Praise Jesus!”

The President’s spokespeople emphasized that Biden is, and always will be concerned with the safety and care of American women, as opposed to Donald Trump and his supporters, who believe that they represent nothing but penis cuffs because they never evolved past the 1950s.

Planned parenthood reportedly won out for the charitable donation over other such organizations as the ACLU, the Clinton Foundation, and Dildos For Lindsey Graham.  But don’t despair, America.  This is only the beginning of four years of real family values and sensibility.

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