Biden to Purchase Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch

The truth is right in front of you

While living, pop music sensation Michael Jackson was the proud owner of a private ranch in Santa Barbara County in California. It was home to exotic animals from around the globe, put on display for the amusement of children and adults alike.

It's the pefect place for him to hide his perversion.

It also featured several amusement park rides to entertain people of all ages. However, when the sun went down, many families felt obligated to leave their children alone under the care of the former king of pop. This, as we all know, led to tragedy.

Neverland Ranch’s legacy of abuse is well documented. This is perhaps why president Joe Biden feels so comfortable in purchasing it. Michael Jackson was twice brought to court under abuse charges, yet died a free man.

If a musician can get away with that, just imagine what a president can do. Neverland Ranch is Biden’s “get out of jail free” card. Neverland Ranch is the “Epstein’s Island” of ranches.

Biden has stated that he plans on putting his presidential library on the property. That is an insult to all of Michael Jackson’s victims, children, adult, and animal. Biden plans on giving both adult and children’s tours through his library, and will also provide a closed wall daycare center with no windows.

It will provide cages for parents to deposit their children in so as to get the full “Border Experience.”  They will not be allowed to pick up their children until going through a mock kangaroo court process to ensure authenticity.

Biden also plans on stocking the petting zoo with domesticated children rather than animals.

“Children are easier to pet, and they don’t bite. They are also considerably cheaper to feed. We are required to feed these animals the highest quality food in the industry. With these young children, we can feed them corn dogs and soda pops, and their hair still smells the same.”

Luckily, none of Biden’s detractors can read and will have no reason to visit his library.

About Benjamin Thompson 105 Articles
Recruited to ALLOD as a POE before I even knew what a POE was. Right handed, avid golfer and cook. I play 5 musical instruments proficiently and work often as an audio engineer in both recording studios and live music venues throughout the SF Bay Area. I do some of my best work when I'm slightly drunk. Never smoked a cigarette in my life. Cheers!!

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