President Joe Biden has assigned Trump’s new head of security for his secret service detail. Out of many candidates, one really stuck out. Jason Collier, a small-town police chief from Texas has been selected to protect the former president.
Chief Collier has really been making a name for himself as of late, and would really be an asset to Trump’s security team.
Collier, a 20+ year veteran of the police force was recently named Chief of Police for a Texas panhandle town and came from a long list of applicants for the job. Biden said his credentials for such a task were incredible, and that Mr. Collier would be more than suitable for the job of protecting our former president.
There has been no word from Collier or Trump about this assignment.
Jason Collier recently made national news as a pervy adulterer, as it became clear that Collier was having an affair with Heidi Cruz, wife of Texas senator Ted Cruz. Ted, who was visibly upset over the news of his wife’s steamy affair with a younger police officer was consoled by Donald Trump, who Ted has a real love for.
Unfortunately, that love is unrequited and a major force in the affair. Apparently, Biden thinks that a man with all this on his plate can handle the job of protecting Donald J Trump.
Secret Service head Joseph Barron was informed of his new employee just moments ago, his jaw hitting the floor and a look of bewilderment flashing across his face. Sure, he might be able to protect the former President, but who will protect him?
“Did Biden just literally pick the worst person in the world for this job??” Barron asked, still stunned.
While it’s a controversial pick, Collier and Trump have a lot in common. They’re both serial adulterers, they both pretend to be men of God, and both have had high-level positions that nobody can figure out how they’ve gotten into them.
Garbage in, garbage out. Mr. Collier will have to relocate to Florida, which is probably good for him, as everyone from Texas hates his ass now.