NYPD Shut Down Church Thanksgiving – 6 Injured


Governor Andrew Cuomo has become the face of New York after his measured and sober reaction to the Covid pandemic crisis for the last year.  Some critics say his protective edicts enacted to stop the spread of the virus go too far, infringing on civil liberties and the word of the Constitution.

“Some critics” in the teabagger sense are usually these mutant nosepickers.

The current rule limiting Thanksgiving holiday gatherings to ten people or less is no joke, however, as the congregation of Brooklyn’s First Blessings Church of the Perpetual Nipple discovered this afternoon as New York’s finest swept into their courtyard and shut down a celebration of the day, confiscating four turkeys, all the stuffing and accoutrements, injuring six members of the Scientology organization’s flock in the process.

Sandy Batt, a worshipper and 7th level Mind Warrior was on the scene, where the gathering of over thirty Hubbard lovers became a chaotic scene one might witness in France rather than the supposed land of the free and home of the brave.

“The police pulled up and I saw them at the gate outside, counting people.  As soon as they got to eleven, one of them unhitched a nightstick from his belt and started swinging it back and forth like he was one of those Jedi people.  The door burst in, and everyone was momentarily confused.  I saw an overweight policeman run straight for the turkey.  One of our Head Psychic Starmasters, Chuck, was trying to use his magic to summon a dragon when the police tackled him and stepped on his big toe.  It was horrible.”

Pandemic or no, this is surely not the scene the founders were painting when they wrote of religious liberty.  Then again, they really kind of didn’t, and they didn’t plan for a fat incompetent dipshit running the country and mishandling a plague.

They most certainly didn’t account for this pair of tardberries in America’s Fruity Pebbles.

Is New York overreacting to worshippers who don’t seem concerned about their own or other American’s safety?  Of course it is.  That state is just full of liberals who think they can get away with anything after 9/11.

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