Barr Orders SCOTUS to Stand Down on Election Cases

OH WELL.

It looks like the downward slide that Donald Trump’s legal claims of a vast election fraud conspiracy has crashed squarely into the Sarlacc pit owned by America’s own Jabba the Hutt, William Barr.  The almost-gone attorney general today removed the final hail Mary play from the exhausted and flatulent Rudy Guliani’s team book by ordering the Supreme Court to stand down on hearing any case related to the election, or, for that matter, any brought by the losing President whatsoever.

What if I want to sue Hawkeye from the Avengers for not just throwing his bow and arrows off that cliff? I mean, he LOVES them, right?

As many blubbering retirees trapped in their homes with only Facebook, YouTube, and Swanson’s frozen Swedish meatball dinners have vocally noted, Barr seems to have turned on his morbidly obese master these last couple of weeks, perhaps sensing the inevitability of his own exit and the penalty his legacy might suffer from entertaining lawsuits from delusional maniacs.

Sandra Batt, of the Batt Institute For Vote Xeroxing says that something is starting to smell funny in the overall conservative shitosphere.

“First, it’s judges that President Trump hand-picked mysteriously siding against his suits.  Then it’s Fox News suddenly deciding to call his lies out right on the air as if they were really a news network.  And now Barr refusing to ride in the sidecar of his Kookmobile.  The guy could lie for Reagan and Bush but not Donald?  In my opinion, this infection leads all the way back to disgruntled employees Amarosa and Meatloaf.  It’s a set up.  There need to be at least nine investigations.”

The Supreme Court replied to the edict by delivering a response written on a beer bottle label by Justice Kavanaugh, reading : “Is this new Amish chick up for grabs, or is that going to end up getting the sexcops all up in my ass again?”

“Sexcops” is also the name of the debut Christian rock album by Senator Ted Cruz.

For those supporters who are absolutely convinced by America’s biggest shyster that there’s an imaginary voting fraud outbreak, it looks like the ride is coming to an end.  Bill Barr has just had enough.

 

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