Bannon Admits to Fabricating Hunter Laptop Tale

UH OH!

It’s been quite a four years of ups and downs for the conservative right.  Time after time, every scandal, blockbuster reveal, and breaking “news” scoop has ended in disappointment and trumped-up (pun intended) nonsense.

“Evidence and proof is for libtards! Listen to me minions!”

Following in the footsteps of the nebulous and completely factless “Obamagate” investigation, and closely preceeding the embarrassment of the entire “fraudulent vote recount” garbage came the very obviously fake fairy tale that Hunter Biden left damning emails on his laptop’s hard drive (not on his e-mail server) and drove it thousands of miles to a repair shop instead of buying a new one.

The kicker to the story was Presidential jester/lawyer Rudy Guliani appearing at the shop as if someone spoke his name into a mirror while spinning around three times and whisked it away.  To no one’s surprise, it turns out the entire story was made up.

Former Trump campaign official, advisor, and serial watermelon-rapist Steve Bannon admitted during an interview with Fox News peepshow producer Sandy Batt that he’d fabricated the entire wacky tale and fed it to the county’s sea of gullible Trump supporters.

“Yeah, it seemed like Donald’s campaign needed some kind of kick in the ass since the same morons who vote for him also work for him.  So I invented a scandal that only his cult of barely literate banana-peel smokers would believe.  And they did.  I’m not sorry about it.  It’s what I do.  And Guliani’s so easy to get into it.  For ten bucks, the guy will be Igor in any real-life production of Young Frankenstein anywhere.”

Some common rules are to never feed a Guliani after midnight, and always use gloves to clean it’s litter.

A special congressional committee has already been gathering the lies, outright fictions, and pure baseless slander former President Trump and his administration and intends to use it to press further charges of fraud against him beginning in January.  I guess he should have concentrated on holding on to reality so that he doesn’t drop the soap later on.

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